cream cat

How should both parties in a marriage get along in order to last a lifetime? In fact, getting along in a marriage is no different from getting along with friends. How you get along with friends is how you get along with your partner. Just as you can have a falling out and grow apart from friends, the same can happen with your partner. The reason why it is easier to have a falling out with friends and more difficult with a partner is because of that piece of paper, the many bindings that come with it. Sometimes, it seems too troublesome to dissolve the marriage, so you calm down, interact with each other, and move on.

However, you should know that this is a man-made binding and its essence is no different. Why is the divorce rate increasing and the marriage rate decreasing? Because no one wants this piece of paper anymore. Everyone can support themselves, so why create obstacles for themselves? If the existence of this piece of paper is to say "just endure it and it will pass," now it's "so why should I endure it?" A new form of marriage has emerged in Japan called "friendship marriage," where two people take care of each other but only have a roommate and friend relationship. If they want to experience raising children, they can use artificial insemination or adoption. Everyone experiences their own lives without interfering with each other.

All of this is enough to show that these emotions and forms are essentially the same. The reason they appear different is because of artificial rules that distort them for the purposes of social management. Therefore, the way people interact with each other is the same, no matter what kind of relationship they have. Speaking of the title, let's talk about the rise of "phoenix men." It is a dangerous thing for a phoenix man to rise. There is a saying, "Regret teaching the husband to seek fame and fortune." It means that if you always want your husband to achieve great things, once he does, he won't be your husband anymore. Let's take some examples. After becoming successful, the probability of divorce is high for big shots like Wang Shi, Ren Zhengfei, and so on. Of course, there are also people like Warren Buffett who have been playing separately for a long time and refuse to divorce because of money issues. This is the case for the majority of big shots in China, yes, I dare say the majority. My evaluation is that they are not as good as Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates. They divorce when they want to divorce, and they divide the money that should be divided. It doesn't matter how much they play, but the fact that they can make their ex-wife the richest woman is enough to make up for all the problems. Of course, they are better than Elon Musk. He just divorces you and doesn't give you any money.

At this point, you might say, "When men have money, they become bad." No, let me explain the underlying logic to you. The main value of men lies in the amount of wealth they possess. Ordinary people who live their lives steadily often have little attraction to both sides and relatively fewer choices in the market. If you pursue a stable marriage, this is actually a kind of luck. Why do women have fewer affairs than men? Especially when women's economic status is not as high. It's because at that time, women's main value lies in their beauty. And we know that beauty reaches its peak at the age when they are suitable for marriage and relationships, and then gradually declines. So women rarely experience a significant increase in value later in life. Isn't that a disadvantage? Not really. Their advantage lies in reaching their peak from the beginning. So even if a woman is not very good, her value will still be higher than that of a slightly worse man. The value of an ordinary woman is always higher than that of an ordinary man. This is the origin of the saying "women chase men through a veil." But the social requirements for men ensure that it is a game where only a few men succeed. The value of most men does not increase much, but there is a group of men who have the ability and luck to experience a significant increase in value after marriage. At this point, the value match in the original marriage is already very mismatched, and the way the two parties interact needs to undergo a significant transformation. However, the women who are compatible with them are often unwilling to adjust their way of interacting significantly, while other women who are more numerous use a new way to interact with them. For example, they are particularly good at seduction and providing emotional value. These women often have a higher value than their current spouses, which greatly destabilizes the marriage. Not to mention those phoenix men who rely on women to have a career. In their original family environment, they are inevitably treated as inferior and subjected to ridicule and contempt from the woman's parents. True phoenix men often end up divorcing due to this huge gap.

This is the essence, not a question of whether someone is good or bad or has morals. The inherent nature of all people in this world is the same. Can you imagine a handsome guy who is unaware of his own attractiveness? That's impossible. How others treat him, how can he not know? Does Wu Yanzu not know or does Edison Chen not know? Everyone knows their own value and will measure what kind of treatment they deserve from others. As long as there is sufficient information exchange, no one is a fool. Unless it's like some rural men who lock their village belle at home and don't let her go out. But if she has been to the city for two years, no matter how moral she is, can she accept you asking her to serve your parents at home? Everyone will weigh what choices can make their lives better. Some things are triggered by conditions and have nothing to do with character. For example, a super beautiful woman who is given the setting of "coming from a very poor family." Can she learn how to get money from men? She will definitely learn because she has always benefited from others constantly having ulterior motives towards her since she was young. Even if she is stupid, with constant practice, she will become much better than an ordinary person. This is a matter of setting, not character. The reason why you are not like this is because your setting is different from hers, not because you claim to be more moral. Another example is a handsome and wealthy man. Will he wholeheartedly be with Cinderella? What do you think? Everyone likes handsome and wealthy men, so why would he choose someone less attractive? A man who has become a big shot from scratch, if he didn't rely on women for money but fought through storms and hardships, how could he not be bald and greasy? Would he be like the CEOs in movies, still looking good even though the company has already collapsed?

The reason why novels captivate you is precisely because they satisfy your fantasies and create illusions that contradict reality. So when you understand the essence of human interaction, you will understand many people and many things more deeply by looking at human nature rather than morality. No one is absolutely good or bad. If you put an honest official in an inappropriate position, he will still be harmed. Everything is a matter of setting, and once the conditions are met, corresponding situations will be triggered. The only thing you can influence is to trigger certain conditions and not fulfill others. But you can never expect people to do things that are not in line with human nature for a long time. You can never expect that.